I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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