I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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