my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
