Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
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