i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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