I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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