You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
