i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
