I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You took a bar mat shot.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
