her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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