I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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