maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
