you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
