Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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