Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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