Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sext me about skeletons
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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