Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
