i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you win again, gameday.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
