oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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