i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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