Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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