Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
God I need to hump something, right now.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
