So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
