It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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