it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
