You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize