Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
