and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
