i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
