What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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