i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
