is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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