there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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