How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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