So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
