the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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