He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
