so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
