peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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