You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
