Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
