Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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