a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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