I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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