i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
