some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
