How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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