you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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