i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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