she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
